The Life of Pursuing Money Was So Tiring

By Zhou Min, Germany

At the break of dawn, when I thought of the matter of intending to buy a house, I could no longer sleep. I thought in my heart, “10,000 yuan, 20,000 yuan, 30,000 yuan … I must work even harder to make money. Only in this way can I lead a better life.” This was my former hope. In order to have a good life, I threw myself into earning money every day. Not until I fell ill did I have an awakening.

I resolved to change my own fate through striving to make money.

Because my family condition was poor since I was a child, my family were looked down on by the other villagers. Every time I saw my parents were bullied by them, my heart was in pain as if being cut by a knife. So, I made up my mind: When I grow up, I’ll do my very best to make money, allowing my parents to live a better life. After I got married, both my husband and I had a low income. But, I firmly believed that I would certainly change my fate with my own two hands.

Afterward, my husband and I saw some people who ran passenger transportation business had gotten rich. So, in order to quickly fulfill our dream of living a better life, we borrowed money to buy a bus and started a passenger transportation business. I went out early and returned late every day, having no time to take care of my child. In addition, I didn’t eat regularly and couldn’t fall asleep at night. After a period of time, I had a nervous breakdown and stomach trouble; nevertheless, I still dragged my exhausted body to work ceaselessly every day. But then, the government informed us, all vehicle owners, that all buses had to be replaced by new ones. This news made my passionate heart bitterly disappointed. Because I had no money to replace my old bus, I had no choice but to sell it and look for another way to make money.

Before long, I took a job as a booking clerk in a station. The more I worked, the more I would earn. In order to realize my dream soon, I started to work at 6 a.m. and didn’t arrive home until 10 p.m. every day. During the upcoming Spring Festival period, I sometimes worked until dawn. As time passed, I suffered all kinds of new illnesses, such as cervical spondylosis, lumbar disease, periarthritis humeroscapularis, anemia, gynecological disease, and so on. Every time after I saw a doctor, I would endure the pain and continue working before I recovered. Later on, when my husband and I planned to buy a house after we had made some money, my boss called me up and said, “The firm has to downsize the personnel. You don’t need to come back to work …” At that time, my husband also had no job. We could barely support our family, much less buy a house and live a good life. In the face of this, I could no longer control myself, held my head and cried loudly, not knowing how to walk my future path.

Later, I joined the ranks of doing direct marketing. I led a team in a direct marketing company and needed to have meetings and receive training every day. However, after a while, I did not make any money. On the contrary, due to being busy with business for a long time and trying painstakingly to sell products, I felt exhausted physically and mentally and suffered an unspeakable amount. I was confused about my life and my future, and my heart at that time was in so much pain. I thought to myself, “People say that one can change his fate and build a beautiful homeland with his own two hands. But, why can’t my fate be changed even though I work very hard to make money? When will I be able to earn enough money and lead an aristocratic lifestyle?” I lost confidence and hope in my future, not knowing how to face my future life.

When I was in agony, the dawn of life befell me.

Just when I was at my most desperate, a relative of mine spread God’s kingdom gospel to me. I read God’s words, “Mankind, who left the supply of life from the Almighty, does not know why they exist, and yet fears death. There is no support, no help, but mankind is still reluctant to close their eyes, braving it all, drags out an ignoble existence in this world in bodies without the consciousness of souls. You live like such, with no hope; he exists like such, with no aim. There is only the Holy One in the legend who will come to save those who moan in suffering and long desperately for His arrival. This belief cannot be realized so far in the people who are unconscious. However, the people still yearn for it so.” What God’s words revealed was exactly the state that I was in. Without the guidance of God’s words, I had always thought that the life goal was to make a lot of money by myself. Therefore, in order to achieve my desires to elevate myself over others, I was just like a machine that operated at full speed. However, I eventually not only made less money but also got many illnesses. Years of bustling around caused me to feel so tired and unbearably miserable. God’s words were like a light in darkness giving me hope. God is my rock and only by coming before God and worshiping Him could I enjoy real peace and joy. I was willing to hand the rest of my life over to God and obey His control and arrangements.

In the days that followed, I was never absent from any gatherings. Gradually, a smile appeared on my face and I began to take an optimistic view of my life. Soon after, I found a new job, earned some money, and bought a house.

I fell into another temptation.

Afterward, I changed my job and began to work as a salesperson selling wall paint. Each time I went to the construction sites and saw that rich people’s houses were lavishly decorated, my heart would be unable to rest, and I thought, “When will I be able to have money so that I can decorate my house lavishly and comfortably like them?” From then on, I pondered every day on how to make more money to decorate my house, so that I was in no mood to read God’s words. After working a day, I was exhausted and when I came back home, I would fall asleep on the bed right away.

Until one day, when I was going to work, I suddenly fell to the floor and felt so dizzy as if the house were whirling. Moreover, I felt an unspeakable pain and didn’t even have enough strength to breathe. I thought, “Could it be that my life will end like this? I have only lived in my new house for a short time which I worked so hard to buy.” I really wasn’t resigned to die in such a way. But, at that moment, I could hardly breathe, much less did I have the strength to realize my dream. In this state of helplessness, all I could do was close my eyes and pray to God in silence, “Oh God, I’m in so much pain that I feel life is worse than death. May You save me.” After praying, I didn’t feel so dizzy gradually and then I stood up slowly.

Through the guidance of God’s words, I found the root of my suffering.

Later, I saw these words of God, “It long ago planted the seed of the tumor of atheism within the young heart of man, teaching man fallacies such as ‘learn of science and technology, realize the Four Modernizations, there is no God in the world.’ Not only that, it repeatedly proclaimed, ‘Let us build a beautiful homeland through our industrious labor,’ asking all to be prepared from childhood to serve their country.” “Because people do not recognize God’s orchestrations and God’s sovereignty, they always face fate defiantly, with a rebellious attitude, and always want to cast off God’s authority and sovereignty and the things fate has in store, hoping in vain to change their current circumstances and alter their fate. But they can never succeed; they are thwarted at every turn. This struggle, which takes place deep in one’s soul, is painful; the pain is unforgettable; and all the while one is frittering away one’s life. … If people cannot truly recognize the fact that the Creator has sovereignty over human fate and over all things of human, if they cannot truly submit to the Creator’s dominion, then it will be difficult for them not to be driven by, and fettered by, the notion that ‘one’s fate is in one’s own hands,’ it will be difficult for them to shake off the pain of their intense struggle against fate and the Creator’s authority, and needless to say it will also be hard for them to become truly liberated and free, to become people who worship God.”

From God’s words, I saw that, bound and harmed by the view of “building a beautiful homeland with your own two hands,” I thought that I could change my fate with my own two hands. So, I rushed about busily every day so as to earn more money to live a better life, feeling so exhausted. In retrospect, when my husband and I ran passenger transportation business, I was in a race against time every day. I was so busy that I had no time to look after my child. Because of heavy workload, I was left with many illnesses and even if I couldn’t bear the pain, I still forced myself to continue working. When I worked as a booking clerk, I was heavily overloaded with work as if I were a machine that never stopped. After I accepted the work of God, because I didn’t pursue the truth and thus had no discernment and knowledge about satanic outlooks on life within me, I still wanted to rely on my own hard work to lead a life where I was above others. I didn’t even read God’s words but was preoccupied with bustling around. Only when I fell to the floor and faced death this time did I realize all that I earned through working hard didn’t belong to myself. It was really not worth it to risk my life for the sake of these things. Now, I didn’t want to continue struggling in the whirlpool of money according to Satan’s viewpoint.

I read another two passages of God’s words, “The fate of man is controlled by the hands of God. You are incapable of controlling yourself: Despite always rushing and busying about for himself, man remains incapable of controlling himself. If you could know your own prospects, if you could control your own fate, would you still be a creature?” “After you recognize this, your task is to lay aside your old view of life, stay far from various traps, let God take charge of your life and make arrangements for you, try only to submit to God’s orchestrations and guidance, to have no choice, and to become a person who worships God.” God’s words pointed out a way of practice for me: If I want to cast off this pain, I must change my previous point of view and lay aside my old view of life. Thinking back, I fought against fate all the time, wanting to create a beautiful future with my own hands. However, the facts showed that the more I lived by this view, the more misery I felt and the greater torment I suffered physically and mentally. Through God’s words, I realized how absurd and pitiable living by Satan’s poisons is, and I understood that God presides over and arranges human fate. How could I control and change it? What I should do was entrust my future and destiny to God’s hands, let Him hold sovereignty over every aspect of my life, and obey His designs and arrangements. Only by taking up the proper mentality and having a normal work and life could I live freely and without restraints.

After overcoming Satan’s temptation, I lived in release and freedom.

After that, the direct marketing manager came to find me and said, “Come lead a team! If your performance is high, you will be able to obtain a car. And in the future, it’s very possible that you will obtain a villa.” I was tempted by his words, but then I thought, “When I led a team in the past, I had to go out to have meetings and receive training every day. Sometimes, I couldn’t even return home, so that I was unable to take care of my child. I tried painstakingly to sell products, which made me exhausted physically and mentally. Moreover, now I can’t endure this hard work. If I continue working my fingers to the bone as I did before, I don’t know what dangerous consequences will occur.” Consequently, I quickly came in front of God and prayed. After praying, I thought of God’s words again, “After you recognize this, your task is to lay aside your old view of life, stay far from various traps, let God take charge of your life and make arrangements for you….” I thought, “Yes, I should let God rule and arrange my life, work, and future. Thinking back to the past, in order to make money, I destroyed my health. I can’t go back onto my old path. Nowadays, although I don’t earn much money, it is adequate to support my family, and, most importantly, when I don’t rely on my own two hands to fight my way through during this period, my health has gradually improved. After I believed in God, through attending meetings, reading God’s words, and singing hymns to praise God, I have experienced the relief and freedom that I have never felt before.” When I thought of this, I refused his “good intentions”. Upon seeing this, he didn’t persuade me any longer. At that time, I felt the steadiness and release I had never had before. I thank God for guiding me and allowing me to bid farewell to those days of struggling by myself.