Who Is It That Saved Her Marriage?

By Aixin, Germany

When Jingyu was two months old, she was given to another family to grow up. Her adoptive parents treated her as their own daughter and his two adopted brothers also loved her deeply. After she knew about the world, her adoptive mother let her know whose child she was. Although Jingyu knew that she was not her parents’ own child, she felt fortunate that her adoptive mother and her family were kind to her. So she was determined that she would treat her adoptive parents with filial respect when she grew up. The adoptive parents liked Jingyu very much. And they often said to Jingyu: “I’ll make you my daughter-in-law when you are old enough.” But Jingyu didn’t pay any attention to these words as she was too young then.

When Jingyu was 16 years old, her adoptive mother wanted her to be engaged to her younger adopted brother Junjie. But Jingyu had been treated Junjie as her own brother. How could a sister and a brother get married? Jingyu didn’t agree, but her adoptive mother cried and said that she didn’t expect Jingyu should be disobedient after she raised her this long. Jingyu was at a loss. So she told Junjie this case. Junjie said: “You can pretend to comply with our mom’s request, and later I will take you to another place to work. Then you can look for a man you like and I also can look for a girl I like. When I get married, our mom will have no reasons to ask you to marry me. We will be brother and sister forever and our mom won’t be sad. Won’t that satisfy each of us?” Finding what her brother said was reasonable, Jingyu complied with her mother’s request.

Afterwards, Junjie really went to work in another place together with Jingyu. One year later, Junjie returned home because of some affairs. Jingyu still stayed there to work. Just at that time, Jingyu knew a boy called Tao in her company. Every day, Tao would see her home. A long time later, they both had liking for each other. And Jingyu even agreed to marry Tao. The Spring Festival drawing near, Jingyu went back home and told her adoptive mother all the things about Tao. But her adoptive mother strongly opposed her. Besides, she begged Jingyu to marry Junjie. Jingyu had no choice but to turn to Junjie. However, Junjie even couldn’t accept the fact. He locked himself in the room and didn’t drink or eat. Even he tried to commit suicide. Jingyu found his attempt in time and prevented him. Junjie cried and said: “I have long treated you as my girlfriend. Love is selfish. I know that I can’t prevent you. Furthermore, I don’t want to force you to marry me. But I don’t want to live in misery either. So I can’t but end my life. Then you can live with Tao.” After hearing Junjie’s words, Jingyu was dumbfounded. While she didn’t love Junjie, she didn’t want to see Junjie living in misery. She couldn’t just sit here and watch her brother do the silly things! When her grandmother learned the news, she knelt down before Jingyu and begged her to marry Junjie. At that time Jingyu was in complete despair. She knew that she would not be happy even though she got married to the man she loved if something bad happened to her mother and brother because she left. In that case, she would have it on her conscience forever. Jingyu had no choice but to choose familial affection and give up love. In the end, she got married to Junjie. She cut connections with Tao in order to make Junjie relieved.

After marriage, Jingyu gave birth to a baby, and all the family were happy. But Jingyu wasn’t happy at all. She still couldn’t forget Tao in the distant place. Jingyu often thought: It is said, “All shall be well, and Jack shall have Jill.” Why couldn’t I live together with Tao? She thought that it was Junjie who destroyed her happiness. So she couldn’t accept Junjie however well he treated her. She thought that it was the biggest misery if she couldn’t live with the man she loved. Sometimes she felt so painful that she wanted to kill herself. She thought only death could set her free completely. But when she thought her child was so young, she couldn’t but give up the idea. She often cried to the heaven: “God! I beg you to save me! Why am I so painful?” To relieve her pain, Jingyu often gave herself over to drinking in some places of entertainment. And even she took her close female friends home on purpose to have cold wars with her husband. They took each other as a passer-by. And their marriage was on the point of breaking down.

Just when Jingyu was painful and helpless, her friend preached the gospel of God to Jingyu and read God’s words to her: “Unbeknownst to people, Satan conveys many messages like this, causing people to unconsciously feel that these things are correct, or beneficial. Unknowingly, people walk this kind of road, unknowingly led onward by their own ideals and ambitions. … Seduced by Satan, they unknowingly walk the road it has prepared for them. As they walk this road, they are forced to accept Satan’s rules of living. Unknowingly and themselves completely unaware, they develop their own rules of living, when these are nothing more than Satan’s rules forcefully instilled in them.” “People harbor many illusions about marriage before they experience it themselves, and all these illusions are beautiful. Women imagine that their other halves will be Prince Charming, and men imagine that they will marry Snow White. These fantasies go to show that every person has certain requirements for marriage, their own set of demands and standards. Though in this evil age people are constantly bombarded with distorted messages about marriage, which create even more additional requirements and give people all sorts of baggage and strange attitudes, any person who has experienced marriage knows that no matter how one understands it, no matter what one’s attitude toward it is, marriage is not a matter of individual choice.”

Through God’s words and her friend’s fellowship, Jingyu understood that the reason why she was so painful was because she was influenced by the theories “Love is above all,” “All shall be well, and Jack shall have Jill,” and by the perfect love stories in the TV dramas, which caused that she harbored made her harbour illusions about love. She regarded Tao as the perfect Prince Charming and thought that she would be happy if she could marry Tao, which made her always dissatisfied with her present life. She wanted to break away from Junjie and stay with Tao. Even she gave herself over to drinking and had a cold-war attitude to her husband in order to escape reality, which made both of them in misery. Only then did Jingyu feel relieved. In fact, the reason why she was so painful was not because Junjie destroyed her happiness, but because she was influenced by the evil tendencies and thereby harbored illusions. That was the source of her pain. Jingyu lost herself in thought: Nowadays, so many people, who are influenced by Satan’s tendencies, blindly seek that “Love is above all.” For this, they can devote all and even commit suicide , which brings themselves and their family irreparable hurt and pain. All these tragedies are all caused by the Satan’s evil tendencies. Without God’s words leading, I couldn’t see these clearly at all and couldn’t be free from the pain. Thinking here, Jingyu was grateful to God in her heart.

Later, Jingyu read God’s words: “Under the Creator’s sovereignty, two unrelated people who share a related fate gradually enter into a marriage and become, miraculously, a family, ‘two locusts clinging to the same rope.’ So when one enters into a marriage, one’s journey in life will influence and touch upon one’s other half, and likewise one’s partner’s journey in life will influence and touch upon one’s fate in life. … A marriage is not the product of both members’ families, the circumstances in which they grew up, their appearances, their ages, their qualities, their talents, or any other factors; rather, it arises from a shared mission and a related fate. This is the origin of marriage, a product of human fate orchestrated and arranged by the Creator.” From God’s words, Jingyu truly understood that her marriage and her family were meticulously arranged by God, and predestined by God. Jingyu originally thought that it was because of her family members that she was forced to marry Junjie. But now she understood that it was because of a shared mission and a related fate that they got married. At the same time, she also felt there was good will of God in such arrangement. Although she didn’t love Junjie, Junjie treated her heart and soul. In such an evil and licentious age, she treated him so badly, while he didn’t betray her but instead he looked after her with great care and even didn’t demand of her to do any housework. Jingyu realized that she couldn’t tell chalk from cheese. She was always trying to cast off God’s orchestrations and arrangements, which didn’t only make her painful, but also hurt Junjie and this family. And she never thought about Junjie’s pain and feelings. Jingyu felt ashamed and uneasy because she hurt the man who loved her deeply.

Later, Jingyu didn’t give herself over to drinking any longer. Also, she didn’t deliberately take her close female friends home to slight Junjie. Instead, she tried to accept Junjie. In daily life, when she talked to Junjie, she didn’t act as if she had swallowed gunpowder like before, but rather she could calmly talk to him, make allowances for him and show some concern to him. When Junjie found that she was changing, he couldn’t adapt himself to her change for a moment. He didn’t expect his wife could change so much. He was very happy. Little by little, the home was not in the state of “cold wars”, and there was some warmth and harmony in their home. Even so, sometimes Jingyu would still feel ashamed when she thought of Tao. Later, Jingyu got in touch with Tao by chance and learned that he had got married and now he had a daughter. Jingyu felt relieved when she learned that he lived well.

Later, Jingyu preached the gospel of God to Junjie and Tao, hoping that both of them could accept God’s salvation. But Tao always said that he was too busy to attend meetings, which meant that he didn’t want to believe in God sincerely. Once, Tao said that he would come to work in Jingyu’s city and wanted to keep adulterous relationship with Jingyu. When she thought that she was a believer in God, and that God hates and detests promiscuity most, Jingyu firmly refused him, saying: “Absolutely not. Both of us have our own family. We shouldn’t do that!” But Tao said: “Now who minds that? Doesn’t everyone do that in this age? You are so silly. Why not seize the day for pleasure, for life is short?” Tao’s words disappointed Jingyu deeply. She didn’t expect that Tao didn’t respect marriage at all. She thought that if she had got married to Tao, how would he have treated her heart and soul while he lived according to the viewpoint that “Why not seize the day for pleasure, for life is short?” Jingyu felt ortunate that she didn’t marry Tao. Since then, Jingyu didn’t keep in touch with Tao. After Junjie accepted God’s work, he sought the truth hard. He often practiced spiritual devotion and read God’s words together with Jingyu. Both of them supported each other. When they met something, they could open up to fellowship, and then practice according to God’s words. Afterwards, Jingyu served as the leader in the church; Junjie supported her so much. They spoke the same language and their misunderstanding disappeared too.

One night, Jingyu and Junjie read a passage of God’s words together: “When one has no God, when one cannot see Him, when one cannot clearly recognize God’s sovereignty, every day is meaningless, worthless, miserable. Wherever one is, whatever one’s job is, one’s means of living and the pursuit of one’s goals bring one nothing but endless heartbreak and irrelievable suffering, such that one cannot bear to look back. Only when one accepts the Creator’s sovereignty, submits to His orchestrations and arrangements, and seeks true human life, will one gradually break free from all heartbreak and suffering, shake off all the emptiness of life.” “Some people may not have realized these things. But when you truly know, when you truly come to recognize that God has sovereignty over human fate, when you truly understand that everything God has planned for and decided for you is a great benefit, and is a great protection, then you feel your pain gradually lighten, and the whole of you become relaxed, free, liberated.” After reading God’s words, Jingyu said to Junjie: “Our marriage was meticulously arranged by God. But I didn’t know God’s sovereignty, and didn’t see God’s good will all the time, which didn’t only made me painful, but also hurt you. Thank God for setting us free from the pain. We might get divorced if we didn’t believe in God.” Junjie said: “Yes! Thank God for saving us. All is under His sovereignty. If God hadn’t arranged our life like this, we wouldn’t have come before Him. What God arranged for us is the best. From now on, we should seek the truth and worship God properly!” Before Jingyu answered his words, their son came up, saying: “Mum, Dad, you finally make up.” Then Jingyu and Junjie looked at each other and couldn’t help laughing …